Wool Goddess

This year has been a transformative journey of self-discovery and healing for me. While it began as an unexpected challenge, driven by health issues, complex surgery and the end of a relationship beyond my control, I now recognise it as a necessary path inward.

I am so aware that we’re constantly bombarded with the idea that happiness is always just one more thing away; the next purchase, the latest gadget, the bigger house, the new yarn, the better face cream or the perfect relationship. While these things can bring moments of joy, true contentment often slips through our fingers when we chase after external sources of happiness. The truth is, most of us are searching for something we already have, but we’re too distracted to notice it.

I’ll admit, I’ve fallen into this trap myself. I wouldn’t say I’m overly materialistic, but I do find myself seeking fulfilment, love, and acceptance from the outside world. In doing so, I’ve often lost sight of who I really am. People have taken advantage of my kindness, that is fine, I can sleep peacefully knowing I was the more moral human yet my only regret is not telling a few people exactly what I thought of them and their behaviour. I’ve given away my power, allowing others to define my worth and dictate who I can and cannot be.

In moments like these, we stray from our true self. We abandon our authenticity, as we mould ourselves into different versions to fit expectations or to gain approval. I am guilty, often I’ve shown up in ways that didn’t feel right, simply because I was seeking validation from others, instead of listening to my inner voice.

Recently, I’ve felt a deep need to reconnect with myself and stop looking outward for validation.

My desire for validation has shown up in small ways too, like buying things I don’t really need. Perhaps the lockdown contributed to this habit of overconsumption, and I’ve continued stockpiling ever since, trying to fill a void.

Lately I’m realising I need to find my grounding again. I’m now searching for deeper foundations within myself, anchors that will hold me steady, no matter what life throws my way.

Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz summed it up best when she said,

“If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own backyard; because if it isn’t there, I never really lost it to begin with.”

Dorothy, Wizard Of Oz

The beauty of this quote is its simplicity. It reminds us that the fulfilment we seek, the happiness we chase, isn’t always found in distant or extravagant places. Often, it’s sitting quietly in the life we’re already living, in our relationships with family and friends, in our moments of solitude, and in the little joys we tend to overlook.

The Illusion of “More”

One of the most common traps in the pursuit of happiness is the belief that acquiring more stuff will somehow fill the void. We’ve all been there; scrolling through online stores, filling up our shopping carts with things we don’t need, convinced that the next purchase will finally bring us satisfaction. But how long does that satisfaction really last?

The new phone, the clothes, new face creams or the expensive yarn may bring excitement, but that feeling fades quickly, and we’re left searching for the next item to buy. This cycle of consumption leaves us yearning for more because no external object can fulfil the deeper emotional needs we carry inside.

In reality, this search for happiness through material possessions is like chasing the wind. As soon as we grasp one thing, it slips away, and we’re left looking for the next. The truth is, happiness cannot be bought or collected. It’s something we cultivate from within, in our daily lives and through appreciating what we already have.

Tip: When I feel this way I often re-read The Unexpected Joy of the Ordinary a book by Catherine Gray

The Search for Love and Validation

The same principle applies to love and relationships. Many people look for happiness in the form of romantic relationships, believing that another person will complete them or make them feel whole. While relationships can certainly add joy and connection to our lives, relying on someone else for your sense of self-worth or happiness can lead to disappointment and heartache.

This one gets me every time!

I have given my heart away (and my body) to people who were not worthy of it as I simply longed to be loved.

True love and fulfilment come from within. If we are constantly searching for validation, love, or acceptance from others without first addressing our own inner healing, we may never feel truly content. The longing for love often masks deeper wounds that only we can heal. By turning inward, addressing our emotional needs, and practicing self-love, we become less dependent on external sources of happiness.

When you begin to nurture yourself, love yourself, and heal from within, you’ll find that the need to seek validation from others diminishes. You’ll experience a shift in perspective, realizing that love and happiness were never “out there” — they were always inside of you, waiting to be recognized and embraced.

This is easier to write than it is to live by…but I am working on it daily!

The Beauty of the Ordinary

In our fast-paced, achievement-driven society, we often overlook the simple, ordinary moments in our lives. We’re so focused on chasing the next big thing that we fail to appreciate the beauty in the present moment. We miss the joy of a quiet morning coffee, the warmth of the sun on our face, or the laughter shared with loved ones.

I finish each daily social media post with a sentence, an affirmation to myself;

Hope your day ahead is magical and you notice the small precious moments in your day.

Vanessa, Wool Goddess

These small, seemingly insignificant moments are where happiness truly lives. When we learn to pause and appreciate the present, we begin to realise that we don’t need to chase after happiness, it’s already here. The act of mindfulness, of simply being present in the moment, allows us to reconnect with ourselves and the world around us in a meaningful way.

When we learn to see the value in the ordinary, we find that life is richer than we ever imagined. Instead of always looking ahead for the next big thing, we can start to appreciate the beauty and contentment in the here and now.

Coming Home to Yourself

Dorothy’s realisation at the end of The Wizard of Oz serves as a powerful reminder that the happiness we seek is rarely found in far-off places or in things we don’t already have. The search for fulfilment often takes us away from the very things that can bring us peace ; the relationships, the experiences, and the moments that are right in front of us.

If you’ve been searching for happiness outside of yourself, it may be time to pause and reflect. What is already in your “backyard”? What moments, people, or simple pleasures have you been taking for granted? Instead of seeking more, try turning inward. Appreciate the life you already have.

Happiness, after all, isn’t something we find. It’s something we choose to see, in the little moments of our day and in the beauty of what’s already within us.

Hope your day is magical and you notice the small precious moments.

Love & healing hugs