There’s a quiet strength in rebuilding after a storm. Sometimes, life brings you to a place where you hardly recognise yourself, forcing you to confront truths you might have ignored. It’s at that point you realise healing must begin.
Without inner healing, our bodies and minds will eventually push us to a breaking point. This happened to me last May. I was forced to pause, turn inward, and start the process of healing. I know my patterns well enough to recognise that when I need healing, I often withdraw. Solitude becomes my sanctuary as I work through both physical and emotional pain.
At first, I isolated myself, even from communities I love, like the crochet community, which only added to my feelings of loneliness. I realised I had a choice: I could continue in pain, repeating negative cycles, or I could begin the journey to true healing.
If you’re finding it hard to function due to depression, don’t hesitate to reach out. Support is available. I did, I sought therapy through the NHS and consulted with my doctor. Together, we adjusted my medications to help address my chronic illness and HRT needs, which had become less effective.
Starting out, I was so exhausted that even basic healing felt impossible. So, I began with micro-steps. Rather than overhauling my life, I made small, manageable changes. Dramatic, sweeping changes can feel unsustainable, but incremental progress can foster hope, build momentum, and help carry you through the healing process.
I started to listen closely to what my mind and body were telling me. Sometimes, all I needed was to show myself some gentle compassion. I kept reminding myself: change doesn’t come from a place of self-criticism. I had to approach healing with love. “I’m making these changes because I love myself,” became my mantra, something I kept repeating to steady myself along the way.
Healing is not easy; it often brings discomfort. But as Resmaa Menakem wisely said, “Healing involves discomfort. But so is refusing to heal. And over time, refusing to heal is always more painful.”
When you open yourself up to healing, you’ll confront a flood of emotions; grief, anger, hope, and everything in between. These feelings need to be felt, acknowledged, and ultimately released. Some days will be heavy and painful, but those days will pass.
Grief, in particular, is a complex process. Swiss-American psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross originally described grief as five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Though these stages were developed to explain how terminally ill patients cope, they’ve become widely recognised as describing any form of significant grief. But remember, grief isn’t linear. It isn’t about ticking boxes in a particular order. Everyone’s journey looks different, and there’s no “right” way to grieve.
Allow yourself to experience whatever healing looks like for you, in your own way. Healing may take you through unexpected emotions, and that’s okay.
Embrace the journey, one small step at a time. Healing is a deeply personal journey, and it can look different for everyone. Allow yourself the grace to experience healing in a way that feels right for you. This process may stir up unexpected emotions, and that’s perfectly okay. Embrace it as it unfolds, taking one gentle step at a time.
Here are a few things that supported me along my journey:
1. Guilt-Free Rest:
Rest is essential when we’re healing, much like when we’re physically unwell. Imagine that your soul is aching, just as your body does when you’re sick. Instead of seeing constant busyness as a mark of accomplishment, allow yourself to pause. Create small comforting rituals—an evening shower, fresh pyjamas, or a warm cup of milk while you read in bed, that can bring you peace and grounding.
2. Setting Boundaries as Self-Love:
Boundaries are an act of self-care and self-respect. Honouring them reminds you that your needs are important and that you’re worthy of protecting your own energy.
3. Mirror Mantras:
When you feel disconnected from yourself, mirror mantras can be surprisingly powerful. Write a few simple affirmations on your mirror with lipstick, so they’re there for you every day. Mirror mantras are about looking yourself in the eyes and speaking kindness, encouragement, or hope. You might say things like, “You are enough” or “I choose you.” These words can be whatever feels uplifting and true for you. Looking in the mirror with kindness can reduce anxiety and cultivate a deeper, more positive connection with yourself.
4. Catching Negative Self-Talk:
Imagine how you’d feel if a loved one spoke harshly about themselves. We often don’t see the “flaws” in others that we can be quick to see in ourselves. This realisation made me wonder: if I wouldn’t want another woman to criticise herself, why do I accept it from myself?
So, I decided to put an end to this habit of self-criticism. No more comparisons or “I wish I were more…” I’m embracing my own version of perfect—my own life, with all its quirks and beauty. It might not fit someone else’s ideal, but it’s perfect for me. The chaos, the extra weight, the imperfect lifestyle, the occasional rant, it’s all part of my unique life, and it’s enough.
A Gentle Reminder Bracelet:
To reinforce this, I created a small crochet bracelet that I wear around my wrist. When I notice myself slipping into negative thoughts, I move the bracelet to my other wrist, as a kind reminder to shift my mindset. This practice is inspired by the “rubber band snap” technique, where a snap of the band is used to interrupt negative thoughts. But I wanted something that felt kinder, so I made my own version, a simple, beautiful bracelet that serves as a gentle nudge toward self-compassion.
The traditional rubber band technique has roots in aversion therapy, where the band’s snap serves as a mild deterrent for unwanted thoughts or behaviours. While it can be effective for breaking certain habits, it also carries a painful history. Aversion therapy was once used in harmful “conversion therapies” to try to “cure” people’s natural identities. As a mother of a gay son, I wear my bracelet as a quiet rebellion against those oppressive practices. This isn’t just a tool for self-care; it’s a symbol of love and acceptance.
Finally
Let your healing be whatever you need it to be. There’s no single “right” way to heal, only what feels right to you.
This blog is part of my Year Of Self-Discovery
Give yourself the grace to rest, to nurture, and to love yourself through every step.
Hope your day is magical and you notice the small precious moments.
Love & healing hugs
Wool Goddess 
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