Wool Goddess

If you’ve been following my journey, you know I’ve embarked on a deeply personal year dedicated to self-discovery and inner healing. It’s been a time of raw introspection, growth, and learning to embrace vulnerability, something I’ve long resisted by defaulting to coping mechanisms like shutting down or leaning into hyper-independence.

The question, “How are you?” has become little more than a polite greeting. Our automatic response, “I’m fine,” often conceals a storm of emotions such as fear, exhaustion, anxiety, or even despair. We use this phrase like a shield, protecting ourselves from judgment and intimacy. But what happens when we start to unmask ourselves and live authentically?

The Weight of the “I’m Fine” Mask

Modern culture tends to glorify strength and self-reliance, leaving many of us reluctant to admit when we’re struggling. Vulnerability can feel like weakness, and we worry about being judged, burdening others, or exposing too much of ourselves. Over time, the habit of masking our emotions becomes so ingrained that even in our closest relationships, expressing our true feelings feels unnatural.

But suppressing emotions doesn’t make them disappear. They linger, showing up as burnout, physical ailments, or tension in our relationships. By denying our authentic selves, we not only rob others of the chance to truly know and support us, but we also deprive ourselves of genuine connection and healing.

The Power of Authentic Vulnerability

Taking off the “I’m fine” mask is an act of courage. It allows us to connect with others on a deeper level and reminds us that we’re not alone in our struggles. When we are open about our emotions, we invite others to do the same, creating a ripple effect of genuine connection.

Brené Brown, a researcher and storyteller, emphasises the importance of vulnerability in building meaningful relationships. She says, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome.” Sharing our truths, even when it’s uncomfortable, can be a powerful step toward personal growth and authentic living.

How to Start Unmasking

1. Check in with Yourself

Start each day by asking how you truly feel. Journaling or meditating can help you process your emotions and build awareness.

For me, even admitting my feelings to myself has been challenging. I bought a journal to create space for honest reflection and now make it a daily habit to ask: “How am I really feeling?”

2. Practice Honest Communication

The next time someone asks how you’re doing, consider offering a truthful response. If you’re not ready to share deeply, you might say, “I’m having a tough day, but I appreciate you asking.”

Breaking my habit of shutting down has been transformative. I’ve told my sons and loved ones about my commitment to honesty, and now when they ask how I am, I share authentically, even if it feels awkward at first.

3. Choose Safe Spaces

Open up to people you trust—friends, family, or a therapist. Sharing your feelings in a supportive environment can be validating and healing.

In the past, I struggled with feeling unheard when I tried to share. I’ve learned to be intentional about who I confide in, selecting those who can offer understanding without judgment.

4. Normalise Vulnerability

Respond to others’ struggles with empathy, showing that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness.

At the same time, it’s important to protect your energy. If you’re unable to support someone fully, it’s okay to set boundaries. You might say, “I hear that you’re struggling, and I want to help, but I’m also feeling overwhelmed today. Could you reach out to someone else for support?”

5. Let Go of Perfectionism

Embrace the messy, imperfect reality of life. Allowing yourself to be human can free you from the constant pressure to appear “fine.”

The Gift of Taking Off the Mask

When we remove the “I’m fine” mask, we reveal our true selves, flaws, fears, and all. This honesty deepens relationships and creates space for genuine connection and support.

People often value appearances over substance, choosing vulnerability is a radical act of self-care. The next time you’re tempted to say, “I’m fine,” pause and ask yourself: How am I really feeling? Then consider sharing that truth with someone you trust.

Taking off the mask isn’t easy, it’s a process. But it’s a journey worth taking because life isn’t about appearing perfect. It’s about being real, connected, and fully alive.

My journey of self-healing is ongoing, but every step I take brings me closer to living authentically.

Love & hugs