Wool Goddess

Healing isn’t always the serene, meditative experience we see on social media. It’s messy, complicated, and often feels like I’m navigating a battlefield where my past and present selves are fighting for control. My journey to inner healing has been anything but linear, and at its core, it’s been a constant tug-of-war between three key parts of me:

My Inner Child, scared and craving love and safety.

My Inner *Scouse Rebel Teenager, full of rage and demanding justice. (*Scouser a person who lives in or comes from Liverpool, a city in England)

My Current Zen Self, who just wants peace, acceptance, and harmony.

Each of these versions of me has something valid to say, but reconciling them has been the hardest part of my healing process.

The Voice of My Inner Child

When I think of my inner child, I see a small, wide-eyed version of myself, unsure of the world and desperate for reassurance. This part of me is the one that clings to the idea of safety: the soft blanket of unconditional love, the quiet reassurance that everything will be okay. The one who watched “The Waltons” as a child and just wanted unconditional love from a husband and to be a Mummy.

She’s scared, scared of rejection, abandonment, and the world outside her comfort zone. Every time I try to push forward, her voice whispers, “What if we get hurt again?”

Acknowledging her pain has been an emotional rollercoaster. I can’t ignore her cries for attention, but sometimes, I struggle to meet her needs while also moving forward. Healing requires me to hold her hand and remind her: We are safe now. We are enough. We are loved. We don’t need a man to love us, we are enough alone.

The Fire of My Scouse Rebel Teenager

And then there’s my teenage self, the Scouse rebel with fire in her heart and fury in her veins. She’s loud, sarcastic, and unapologetically angry. She’s angry at the injustices we faced, at the people who let us down, and at a world that wasn’t fair.

She doesn’t want peace; she wants payback!

Her voice isn’t soft like my inner child’s, it’s a roar: “Why should we let this go? Why shouldn’t we fight back? They deserve to pay for what they did.”

At times, I admire her fire. She reminds me to stand up for myself, to draw boundaries, and to demand the respect I deserve. But if I listen to her too much, I find myself consumed by anger, unable to move past the past. To heal, I’ve had to honour her fury while gently guiding her toward forgiveness, not for their sake, but for ours.

The Calm of My Zen Self

Finally, there’s the me I strive to be: my Zen, hippy-dippy, happy self. She’s the one meditating with crystals, journaling affirmations, and chasing inner peace like it’s the ultimate prize. She wants harmony between all the voices within me. She’s the peacemaker, the healer, and the dreamer.

But even she has her struggles. There are days when my inner child and rebel teenager are so loud, my Zen self feels drowned out. She tries to remind me to stay grounded, but sometimes, she falters under the weight of unresolved pain.

Still, she’s the glue that holds us all together. She reminds me that healing is about integration, not elimination. I don’t need to silence my inner child or my rebel teenager; I need to listen to them, learn from them, and help them heal alongside me.

The Challenge of Healing

The hardest part of this journey is realising that healing isn’t about becoming a new person. It’s about embracing every part of who I’ve been, who I am, and who I’m becoming. It’s about sitting with my fear, my anger, and my longing for peace, all at once, and finding a way to let them coexist.

There are days when it feels impossible. When my inner child’s fear clashes with my Scouse rebel teenager’s anger, and my Zen self struggles to mediate, I feel stuck. But then I remind myself: healing isn’t linear. It’s okay to take a step back, to revisit old wounds, and to feel like I’m starting over.

Every battle I face within myself is a sign that I’m doing the work. And slowly but surely, I’m learning to balance the voices, to honour each part of me, and to move forward, not perfectly, but authentically.

A Journey Worth Taking

Healing after a relationship breakup is hard, but it’s also the most beautiful journey I’ve ever been on. I am a truthful it is not my last relationship that broke me, it simply shone a light on an unhealed area. A part of me that never healed from rejection and injustice long ago. This breakup simply reminded me of that feeling and told me I know need to heal.

Every step I take brings me closer to wholeness, to a version of myself that feels complete, not because I’ve erased my past, but because I’ve embraced it.

To anyone else battling their inner voices, I see you. I know how exhausting it can be, but I also know how transformative it is. Keep going. Your inner child, your rebellious teenager, and your future Zen self are all rooting for you. And so am I.

Hope your day is magical and you notice the small precious moments.

Love & healing hugs