Wool Goddess

 I met my teenage self for coffee today.

We were both early, each arriving with a list of things we wanted to discuss, carefully written in a pretty notebook. I smiled, relieved to see that my love for writing had never faded.

She ordered a bottle of Perrier and declined cake, looking utterly shocked as I enjoyed a cappuccino and a generous slice of carrot cake. “Do you know how many calories are in that?” she asked, eyes wide with disbelief. I simply smiled and told her I didn’t care, because I was beautiful anyway, curves and all. I wanted to tell her that starving herself to stay thin was harming her more than she realised, but she had that fierce teenage defiance in her eyes. Some lessons, I decided, she would have to learn on her own.

As we chatted, I crocheted. She laughed, shaking her head. “Bloody hell, I thought only Nans did that!” I wanted to teach her, knowing how much it would one day soothe her anxious mind. But I hesitated. If she learned now, would it change everything? Would the quiet rhythm of crochet calm her enough to rewire her nervous system, shift the path she was meant to walk?

She told me about her dreams, about the little house with a tree in the front yard and a picket fence. I smiled and told her she would have exactly that, and she would love it deeply.

Then, with a dreamy look in her eyes, she described the man she was going to love. A strong, gentle soul who would hold her every day and remind her how much she meant to him. Someone who would dance and sing with her, make her feel safe, carry her shopping bags, and leave little gifts by her chair. He would see through her “I’m fine” and reassure her of her worth. Their home, she said, would be filled with love. He would be her soulmate, her anchor, her wild and carefree spirit all at once.

I hugged her tightly and whispered, “You get that.”

Her face lit up with pure joy. I didn’t tell her it wouldn’t come from one great love but from five. Her five sons would be the ones to cherish, protect, and adore her in all the ways she dreamed.

Some things, I decided, were best left for her to discover on her own.

Love & hugs