Wool Goddess

Writing my February Sunday soul notes has been a rollercoaster of emotions. But that’s life, isn’t it? Some people sail through calm waters, while others, like me, seem to attract curveballs. The difference now is that I focus more on the peaceful moments and recover faster from the turbulent ones.

This month brought one of those unexpected storms when my second-youngest son was rushed to the hospital. No, not the one who had kidney failure and a new autoimmune disease, this is another son the month later! It was a horrific experience for him, and while I won’t go into details, it was a day filled with unimaginable events. We got through it, and eventually, he received the most incredible, loving care. What I will say is this: never let neglectful, incompetent medical departments gaslight you into believing that poor treatment is just “the state of the NHS everywhere.” It’s not. Our NHS is still wonderful, filled with dedicated, magical staff who go above and beyond. The bad apples are a minority, but when you put a few together, the rot spreads. I will always speak out against neglect and bad practice because it breaks my heart to think that some people might only encounter the worst and assume that’s all the NHS has to offer.

February has been a month of fighting back in many ways. That might sound dramatic, but I promise you, I’ve also laughed more than ever and felt deeply loved. Still, I could have easily curled up in a ball with a hot water bottle and hibernated through it all, only emerging when the spring sun warms my skin. I love winter, the dark days and cosy evenings filled with twinkling candles, family love and hygge, but this month has been a constant reminder to look for the magic in small moments. The times when my heart feels full, when I’m laughing with my best friend over something ridiculous, or when my sons are their usual, hilarious, piss-taking selves. These moments get me through the pain.

I’ve been intentional about creating joy this month, what I like to call my “dopamine days.” I’ve visited old bookshops, the theatre, charity shops, little escapes from the warmth of the couch, the safety of my heat mat and blanket. It’s a delicate balance. Keeping still eases my pain and reduces my need for strong medication, which wreaks havoc on my digestive system after surgery. But too much stillness weighs on my mental health, and the lack of movement affects my heart, weight, and cholesterol levels. It’s a constant push-and-pull, and some days, the overwhelm is real.

This month, I’ve read a few lovely books, and started a few not-so-lovely ones. If the writing style, story, or even the narrator’s voice on Audible doesn’t grab me, I move on. Life’s too short for books that don’t spark joy.

I’ve also planted seeds, both literally and figuratively, for the months ahead. Last year, pottering in the garden became my happy place, and I’m holding onto that. Our garden is vast and mostly left to its own devices. At the bottom, there’s a wild patch that might look like an overgrown mess to some, but I love it. I like to imagine hedgehogs or frogs making their home there, whether they do or not, it’s a comforting thought. Butterflies flock to it in the summer, and that alone makes it worth keeping. The heavy clay soil has made growing crops a challenge; even my best effort with clay-loving potatoes only yielded enough for one meal of sausage and mash. But I’ve collected tubs and planters, and they bring me so much joy. I can’t wait to see this year’s flowers bloom.

My bedroom is an ongoing project, a slow transformation I started last year. This month, I ordered some paint while it was on offer, and though the full reveal will be a summer one, I’m enjoying gathering little pieces to make it feel just right.

Through all of February’s highs and lows, there have been countless moments where I’ve stopped, smiled, and felt an overwhelming sense of love and contentment. That’s a gift I’ll never take for granted. No matter what life throws at me, I will always notice the magic.

Hope your month ahead is filled with magic and you notice the small precious moments.

Love & hugs